Outrageous Excuse?

The winter holiday season is a time of parties and late nights. It is also a time for outrageous excuses for being late to work.

Here is a youth’s excuse for being an hour late for work. Way to go Josh!


I was on time but…when I get to the elevator it’s out of service. The other elevator doesn’t come so I walk down ten flights of stairs. When I get to the apartment front doors it’s blocked with a piano, not just a piano, a grand piano. It’s wedged in like a crooked smile with two guys outside taking a smoke break and a guy inside arguing on his cell phone.

“I need to get out bro.” I tell him. He gives me a look that I know isn’t “have a nice day.”

I make my way to the back entrance and up the delivery ramp to find a truck stuck at the top. The driver’s taken out the height bar, it’s laid in bits on top and there’s barely four inches on either side. No way I can fit through. The superintendent’s ranting at him, the driver gets a few words in about doing his job and moving a family’s belongings. They don’t notice me when I climb onto the hood and crawl over the splintered wood. I slide down the back of the truck, grazing my knee. I’ll show you if you want. No? Okay.

I might have stood a chance of getting here fifteen minutes late if it hadn’t been for the incident on the bus. Yeah! No kidding. All the guy was doing was singing a rap song but the driver didn’t like it and told him to get off. But the kid wouldn’t so he pulls to the curb and grabs him. That’s when the scuffle started. We all just watched. Well, until a little old lady got involved and said the driver shouldn’t pick on kids and started whacking him with her purse. That was kinda funny really. The older dude didn’t know what to do then. In the end everyone sat back down and the bus got going.

I know. That wouldn’t take an hour. It was when I got off the bus all hell broke loose. I was suddenly grabbed by a big dude who pulls out a gun and starts dragging me backwards. It was fracking scary. I didn’t know what was going on. There’s all of these FBI guys around. Okay, I know we’re not in the States but, whatever. Our law dudes then. I didn’t know what to do, it’s crazy. There’s screaming and yelling and the law dudes are telling him to drop his weapon. No shit! I’m dragged into some building. People are scattering, it’s like being in a Bourne movie, only Matt Damon is cooler than this guy. He pulls me into the elevator and I notice we’re going to the roof.

You won’t believe what was up there. Yeah! Right on! A helicopter. No, really! It’s whirring away with ear splitting revolving propellers. He drops me to the floor and yells that I stay there and not move. Then he leaps into the helicopter. Meanwhile law dudes arrive and bullets are flying everywhere. I cover my ears and hope I don’t get hit.

Then law dudes pull me up and start asking a zillion questions. Like I know what’s going on? They drill me for ages until finally they let me go with a warning not to hang out with bad guys. I mean, what the hell was that about?

I’m shaken but determined to get to work, because my jobs important to me and I know you’re relying on me, so here I am. There isn’t anything short of a zombie apocalypse gonna stop me getting into work.


About Elanclose Rambles

Author of science-fiction/fantasy series Elanclose. Writing because it keeps me going.
This entry was posted in #humor, #humour, Excuses, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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